No body likes envy in a long-distance relationship. But once you’re aside from the man you’re seeing, that sickening feeling can even sneak into the healthiest of relationships.
You probably don’t want to feel jealous— you’re terrified of becoming that girlfriend — however you can’t just want the feelings away of hurt, sadness and anger.
This is basically the element of long-distance that everybody warned you about, right? They could have now been appropriate about its commonness, but they’re incorrect if they said it is hopeless. Jealousy in a long-distance relationship doesn’t want to take over your feelings or spoil your relationship.
How can you handle jealousy, then? Let’s plunge appropriate in.
1. Work through your emotions
Jealousy in a long-distance relationship rarely exists in vacuum pressure of thoughts.
You may feel mad that your particular boyfriend doesn’t see a challenge using the situation. Perhaps you’re unfortunate that another woman extends to be with him whenever you can’t. Maybe you’re also scared that your particular relationship may end.
Whatever you’re experiencing, devote some time to process all your thoughts before lashing away at the man you’re seeing. It is feasible that a few of your feelings aren’t also regarding the matter. They’re simply spilling over from something different, and additionally they must be addressed individually.
Once you’ve determined just what you’re feeling, you’ll need certainly to assess in case your envy is justified. Will you be responding rightly or overreacting?
This is often hard to figure out whenever you’re relationship. You have actuallyn’t exchanged vows yet, therefore you’re maybe maybe perhaps not bound to one another forever. During the time that is same though, many people would say there’s an unspoken contract become faithful to one another provided that you’re relationship.
One good way to pursue knowledge on this subject is through praying the words of Psalm 139:23-24: “Search me personally, Jesus, and understand my heart; test me personally and understand my thoughts that are anxious. See when there is any unpleasant method in the means everlasting. in me personally, and lead me”
2. Think about your boyfriend’s perspective
The man you’re dating might maybe perhaps not understand just why you’re upset. About it yet, he might not even be aware that there’s a problem if you haven’t talked. These scenarios can feel just like a level deeper betrayal. Exactly just just How could he maybe perhaps not understand?
Nonetheless, be mindful before presuming your boyfriend’s motives or their lack of knowledge. He most likely wasn’t attempting to harm you. He additionally probably is not an idiot, therefore don’t make him down become one.
I believe Philippians 2:4 delivers an exhortation that is helpful “Let each one of you look not just to his or her own passions, but additionally to your interests of other people.”
Therefore, what exactly are your boyfriend’s interests?
First, you are wanted by him to hear him with respect. Hurling accusations that are angry offering him an opportunity to explain is not respectful or sort.
In some instances, the specific situation might not also be their fault. Another woman might have placed him in a hard place. That does not make him innocent, but it addittionally does not guarantee his shame.
2nd, he wishes your trust. If for example the boyfriend undoubtedly cares in regards to you, he does not would like you become jealous. Has the man you’re dating offered you some other explanation to doubt which he cares in regards to you? Keep in mind his character in hard times such as this.
Having said that, if he’s hoping to get your attention by simply making you jealous, he doesn’t truly worry about you. It’s a very important factor to draw healthier boundaries, however it’s another to govern someone’s feelings and lure her to sin.
Playing “hard getting” is normally a decision built in fear, so when 1 John 4:18 declares 
, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
3. Talk to him
When you’ve sorted out your emotions and considered their viewpoint, consult with the man you’re dating.
You’ll desire to enter the discussion thoughtfully. Harsh, rushed terms may feel satisfying in the beginning, but they’re perhaps perhaps not planning to re solve your relationship dilemmas (Proverbs 15:1). In fact, they’ll probably cause them to even worse.
On the other side hand, don’t be worried about the end result and longer delay the conversation than necessary. Provide your anxieties towards the Lord (Philippians 4:6) and inquire him to steer the discussion.